Taking the First Step

They say when the student is ready, the teacher shall appear. I guess that’s what happened to me during a random trip to a local spa. In the lobby, I noticed a flyer advertising an informational session for yoga teacher training. I’d been taking yoga on and off for a few years and often wondered just what it took to be a yoga teacher. This was my chance to find out, so I gathered my courage and planned to attend the following week.

I have a vivid imagination, and the day of the session I pictured a room full of “perfect” people eager to sign up for class. In contrast, I felt far from perfect but tried not to let my insecurities rob me of an opportunity to learn more.

The fact was that many of my usual negative thoughts had recently begun to undergo subtle changes over the past year or so. Through the practice of yoga, I was beginning to see myself through less judgmental eyes. I was becoming a little nicer to myself and was starting to cut myself some slack.

I had also been reading books on yoga and yoga philosophy and had been introduced to the idea that the things we tell ourselves are not always true! That was a big one for me – the concept that sometimes our inner thoughts about who we think we are may not always be correct. With this new truth in mind, the possibility of me becoming a Yoga Teacher gained a spark of credibility. The thought “Maybe I Could” was a huge breakthrough for me.

I went to the informational session given by Ellen Schaeffer of One Yoga and was very proud of myself for even walking through the door. I fought against the nagging thoughts that entered my head: You don’t belong here. You can’t do this. You’re not perfect.

Figuring I had nothing to hide, I voiced some of these concerns out loud to the gathering. Of course, as a group of nonjudgmental yoga practitioners, they did their best to allay my concerns, most of which were firmly grounded in decades of social conditioning and negative self-talk.

I appreciated their kind words and even the laughs they had at my misguided fears. They had me thinking that maybe I could do this. Maybe this was something within my reach.

I’ve taken the next step and have made the one-year commitment to start down the path to teaching. I still do daily battle with my thoughts and my body, but I’m incredibly proud of myself for taking this step and facing my fears. I have no doubt that this year will result in life-changing events for me and that my mind, body and spirit will reap the benefits yoga has to offer.

Submitted by Lorraine Letellier